Little Caesar

 

Russian Vladimir Putin is an unremarkable man, who has been given remarkable powers.

 

 

He chose Dmitry Medvedev as his predecessor because he is harmless and stands even shorter than him.

 

 

And so he would never get photographed looking up at him.

 

 

Ah, yes,  of power and complexes…

 

 

Name Game

Tiger Woods

 

Jeremy Irons

 

Peanut Putter

 

Gone

 

So where’s George?

 

I don’t know, said his ex. I haven’t got a Clooney!

 

YOUPOOP

 

My son has designed an app for dogs with a Google map flagging parks and hydrants in town.

 

Horses please abstain!

 

Black Sea

Russians are crude operators, with a firm 19th century mind-set in everything, and going about it in their predictable way. Ukrainians aren’t much better though and their claim on Crimea is just as tenuous. Still, revising Ukraine’s borders and, given its ethnic make-up, turning the Crimea into a semi-independent type of crown colony whose existence is guaranteed by both regional masters, would be the best compromise.

 

For peace, for business, for native Tatars, for the Russian fleet, for saving everyone’s face and the Ukraine suddenly having less of a domestic problem eventually joining the EU.

 

I think Ukraine should cede first, pacifying big, ugly brother, and guaranteeing its own and their cherished EU’s natural gas supply at decent rates.

 

 

So that despite the uncertainties in Kiev, it’s where the solution lies or what’ll be?

 

Astute pragmatism or self-defeating pride?

 

 

Soldier’s Ire

In Africa, civil or otherwise, war is defined as the sad situation whereby people who don’t know each other at all, will kill each other on behalf of those who know each other well!

 

And can you imagine a cruel, crazy French president giving orders to bomb large parts of Paris to destroy the ‘enemy’, simply because he is no longer tolerated? Too insane to contemplate, isn’t it? Yet that is what is happening in Damascus and Aleppo, because pilots in Syria don’t think twice before stepping into their cockpits and bomb their own brothers, sisters and their lovely kids to death. Then fly back to pick up a medal or two, have tea and eat their falafel before picking up their own child from kindergarten, with a smile.

 

“Daddy’s back, little Ahmed! Did you have fun today?”

 

It is a known dictum that pilots, like soldiers, are paid not to think. It was so in Japan and in Germany not long ago. It still is so in Syria, where primitives bomb their own with glee it seems and upon demand. But no longer in Ukraine where his personal guards abandoned a morally corrupt president, and the army and police made it known they would ignore his demands if asked to slaughter innocents to keep him on top.

 

So then let there be this warning to hungry autocrats and blinkered generals: think twice and abandon force as a political tool, be inclusive whatever the conflict is and deal with it effectively and peacefully, for in ever larger parts of the world the days of the non-thinking soldier is over, one who no longer shoots when you say so, whether you like it or not and indirectly, by not shooting becoming the real ruler of the realm.  

 

Extreme Culture

 

A friend of mine is thinking of opening a seafood literary café/restaurant and calling it The Well Read Lobster

 

He’s the same brilliant mind who opened a Chinese restaurant in the South of Spain and called it The Wok of Gibraltar

 

The Great Kalashnikov

Rampant life, kills life. The food chain cleans up and controls the numbers.

Humans escaped the food chain by the evolution of their wits and have only viruses, and related or unrelated diseases to deal with.

Plus car, train and plane accidents, and the Assad and Himmler method of population control, of course.

Rivalry

So Mrs Christie, if I’m not indiscreet, who goes on top?

Oh, that’s a weighty question. In all honesty I would have to admit… Hillary!

Hillary on top? Really…

Of course, that’s if Chris gets the nomination…

Coming from behind?

He’s done this all his life…

So he never pulled ahead?

I always bent over forward for him. Which helped…

How did Chris and Hillary meet?

During a debate!

One that didn’t take long…

I watched it, I knew the ending…

But did Hillary? Ending up on the short one again?

Not yet, but I could see it coming…

And you didn’t mind?

I stand behind my man, through thick and through thin…

But mainly thick?

They say, behind every successful man stands an incredulous woman. Not me!

Well, Mrs Christie, we hope for your sake, that he pulls it off.

I’d be on top…

Of the world?

Damn right! After years of carrying this load!

 

A Fitting Question

 

If Chris Christie should make it to lead the USA, will he become known as the oval president?

 

A snug fit for his office?

 

 

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