Quito Press Release

Ecuador offers Lance Armstrong Asylum at its London Embassy


President Correa said his country wants to protect the cyclist’s inalienable right to screw the US and International Establishment.


“Covering up screwing with a phony cause is what I do myself here every day!” declared the Bolivarian philosopher king to the Ecuadorian free press he closed down long ago.


“Isn’t it a wonderful world!?” the sleaze Julian Assange sighed, after reading the news in an official email.


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