Archive for the ‘Horses’ Category

Brain Disease

Kim Kardashian's Unbelievable Butt Explained: Just Oil and Great ...

 

It’s a modern affliction. When the cerebellum protrudes from the asshole and thinks of itself as beautiful. Identical to shamelessness, apparently there’s no cure but others walking away from it.

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My son has designed an app for dogs with a Google map flagging parks and hydrants in town.

 

Horses please abstain!

 

Unfair Play

I complained to the Olympic Committee.

 

I was thrown out of two uneven bars, eliminating me from the the race for a gold medal.

 

I was so angry, I pummeled a horse.

 

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s beguiling E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

Jubilee

My buddie Yahuda is a dental surgeon, who lives downstairs from me.

 

He leaves me notes that end by saying ‘ Nice Regards, Y’.

 

So it is I have a Queen who celebrates her Jubilee.

 

But every day I celebrate my Jew below.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s extraordinary E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

The Dread of Reign

Watching this polished circus on TV this morning, I don’t know who the folks at St Paul’s Cathedral are singing to, but it isn’t God.  He may best be found out in the open. I think what’s been sung to here is order and station. Man singing his own praises, the pyramid of him, this small, old gal residing in the penthouse, both holding off and protecting a pack of pious but ambitious actors, below.

 

Bettter download Anthony Steyning’s new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Roos

Hippopotamus is Greek for River Horse; we call them Hippos.

 

So why don’t we make things easier, by calling kangaroos… Hoppos?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s spellbinding E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Horse Play

My friend Eddie the dwarf walks his pet giraffe down to the park where they play Frisbee and laugh their head off.

Bernard

My dog Bernie has the arse of a cat

He’s very self-conscious about it,

avoiding even his pals

Who poke fun at him,

calling him a faggot

or worse.

 

He doesn’t get sniffed up much,

always sitting down when he can

No, he’s not tired,

just scared they’ll laugh

And I would too,

but I’m

a horse.

Royal Ascot, Kentucky Derby

I have long had this obsessive vision of ridiculously dressed women with stupid floppy hats, handbags and high heels running, tripping, stumbling, falling coming out of the gates, with snooty, posh horses sitting in the stands holding binoculars, and one of them saying to the other:

– There goes our money…!

The other vision I have is one of ridiculously dressed women with stupid floppy hats, handbags and high heels riding the horses as they break out of the gates, with snooty, posh jockeys sitting out in the stands holding binoculars, and one of them saying to the other:

– There goes our money…!

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