Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

God Save America

Me and my fellow murderers, psychopaths, hate mongers,

deranged fantasists and obscene attention seekers able to count

on self-fulfilling media coverage, wish to thank the NRA for their

unwavering support, allowing us to live our dreams and defend

ourselves against despicable monsters like fellow students, toddlers,

Catholics, Jews, Blacks, Latinos, or in general people with an accent,

or people who are brighter, work harder, have more success, and all

those others whose face we cannot stand.

 

Because the NRA understands that the gun is our brain, just like it is theirs,

especially the semi-automatic one. And that no regulation will stop us, for as

long as we can just borrow one, except when the oppressor cleverly bans

not the gun, but the bullet. In which case I guarantee you bullet trafficking will

outdo drug trafficking within months.

 

With the NRA’s unconditional support we have averaged the elimination of

30.000 enemies a year, over the past decade. But with help and devotion

there is no reason we cannot vastly improve on this number.

 

So God bless the morally corrupt and certifiably insane, because we have

what it takes.

 

Testimonial signed and agreed on between

 

Anthony Steyning & pals

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OZ

So these two friends of Dorothy’s came across one Caitlyn Jenner, and one said to the other ” Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!”

What If

What if… the brain is like a face, pretty, ugly, elongated or puffed, skin marked or not, loose or tight, of colour indistinct, wrinkles deep, nose pointed, dull, long, short, chin double or tight, lips large, thin, ears flat, wide, eyes oblique, dark, myopic, below brows bushy, frown sudden, smile furtive, muscles of laughter relaxed, uncertain or fake, cheeks hollow, teeth not stained, but uneven,  gums pink, jaw sunk, suddenly jutted in ways undefined, hair patched, black, brown, blond on grey turf, memory inscribed long ago, opinions caked with acts to match, whether it is night or day, dry or wet, hot or cold?

 

Or more like a landscape, a voyage in it, through it, on it, in which case desert, forest, marsh, plain, mountain range, ocean, beach, ice field, a river, a lake?

 

Would it help any navigating our fellow, our selves, circumventing calamity,

 

heartbreak?

 

JOB SEARCH

 

– To successful Applicant: We offer you a position on the 12th floor, or on the ground floor: which will it be?!

 

 

– Looking at Interviewer: I think I opt for the below job!

 

 

Letter To My Son

 

Hi Kek,

 

Hey it’s your damn birthday soon again, will you slow down please,

you’re going much too fast to my taste?!

Anyway, son, you’re a terrific human being and I hope you’ll have a long

and happy life on this earth.

Unlike me, always in doubt, like when people ask me about my four footer

and I have to figure out if they’re referring to my dog, the putt I made on

hole 14, or my dick.

 

Love yah,

Dad

 

 

High Provincialism vs the Universal

 

Breakfast-prayer Conservatives are against Universal Healthcare, because

they are feral individualists incapable of accommodation, with personal rights

to the Gospel.

 

They say Social Care leads to godless Socialism, so that understandably God forbids it

and they must fight it..

 

Talk about circular, pocket book caressing reasoning, that is if one can call it reasoning.

 

 

 

The Sorry Story Of Territory and Domination

 

Apes cannot shoot down airplanes and have no names like Vladimir or Bashar, but are just as primitive, plus sulking, brooding, vindictive and finally… inferiority-complexed, attacking not out of immediate hunger but ultimately out of petty, irrational fear.

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/a7XuXi3mqYM

 

 

 

Loyalty

 

Mrs Confucius say:

 

You may call my cunt a pussy, but never, ever call my cat a cunt!

 

Music

 

-My wife wants a private bathroom, lest someone can hear her!

 

-She plays the Bowl?

 

– Like Glenn Miller!

 

– She does Glenn Millers?

 

– Not to say Kai Windings!

 

– So, more than a good ear!

 

– You can say that again!

 

Only on Earth

 

We shouldn’t cry

when someone dear and near

passes away,

if we believe in heaven

and eternal sanctity

 

 

 

We should cry

when losing the lot,

our crust, our roof, our breath,

in the process

gaining cruel pain and terror,

 ‘heaven’, despite its hopeful beckoning,

deciding to come crashing down on us

 

 

We shouldn’t cry

when a total stranger

extends a  sudden, loving act

of helpfulness

to us

 

 

 

But we do!

Don’t we?

Not only because of its extreme beauty,

but because of its ridiculous,

its utter

 

 

rarity

 

 

 

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