Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

God Save America

Me and my fellow murderers, psychopaths, hate mongers,

deranged fantasists and obscene attention seekers able to count

on self-fulfilling media coverage, wish to thank the NRA for their

unwavering support, allowing us to live our dreams and defend

ourselves against despicable monsters like fellow students, toddlers,

Catholics, Jews, Blacks, Latinos, or in general people with an accent,

or people who are brighter, work harder, have more success, and all

those others whose face we cannot stand.

 

Because the NRA understands that the gun is our brain, just like it is theirs,

especially the semi-automatic one. And that no regulation will stop us, for as

long as we can just borrow one, except when the oppressor cleverly bans

not the gun, but the bullet. In which case I guarantee you bullet trafficking will

outdo drug trafficking within months.

 

With the NRA’s unconditional support we have averaged the elimination of

30.000 enemies a year, over the past decade. But with help and devotion

there is no reason we cannot vastly improve on this number.

 

So God bless the morally corrupt and certifiably insane, because we have

what it takes.

 

Testimonial signed and agreed on between

 

Anthony Steyning & pals

Advertisements

CASTING

STARLITE TALENT AGENTS CORP.

11000 WHITESHIT BOULEVARD

HORRORWOOD CA

 

CATTLE CALL

 

For a new police/detective CSI type action show, we seek talent that

 

-Must look 22 yrs old and not break up laughing when addressed as Doctor or Chief Pathologist

 

-Must have hair remaining in place come rain, shine, crashed, shot, burned, bombed, near drowned or whatever

 

-Must have characterless, photogenic facial features with the emotional depth of a frying pan

 

– No acting technique required, with the body language of a lumberjack, and please don’t stammer: Stanislavski was a Methodist

 

-Be able to state the understood over and over again, explaining the obvious to a counterpart who plays the apparently stupid expert

 

-Submit your résumé, including photograph and contact details if you think you have what it doesn’t take.

 

-Auditions are planned for early June.

 

-Remember our mission statement: The dumber the better: Good Luck

 

 

Bro, spare a Buck?

So I ran into this hooker on the corner of Hollywood & Vine, and asked her what her favorite TV program is.

 

Twat’s my Line! she said.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s terrific new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

A Piece of the Peace

The Norwegian branch of the Nobel Foundation has already announced the winner of the 2013 Peace Prize and it is AMTRAK for contributing to world peace by delivering so many people to so many sleepy holes in the wall.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

BREAKING NEWS

LUTHER IS AN ASSHOLE

 

The Calvinist Newspaper carrying this headline got bombed, Lutherans rioting and attacking anything remotely Calvinist all over Europe.

 

” THEY INSULTED LUTHER ” a Lutheran with blood all over his hands shouted defiantly, on his way to the American Embassy.

 

” THIS IS GOOD NEWS!” the Pope exhorted.

 

Personally I pray God buggers off.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s recent E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Breaking News

So a Fox news presenter we get here in Europe is an anchor by the name of Martha MacCallum.

 

But nobody believes me when I tell them I’m closely acquainted with her brother Watcha!

 

Download the captivating Anthony Steyning E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Death To Collectivity!

Nations where crowds rise and kill innocents on demand are ignorant and cruel, its masses capacitated by the narrowest of ideas promulgated by the smallest of minds.

 

Before a nation or a people can be successfully independent, individual independence must have taken place. The ability to form one’s own opinion and assessment, which used to start with freedom of the press but  in the perennial absence or control of same has now been superseded by satellites beaming objective fact, so becoming a brand new source of moral intelligence.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s E-Novel of international intrigue: A Kiss by the Clowns

Journey!

The longest river on earth is the Amazon, the longest road the one my admirers take towards my door.

 

Order Anthony Steyning’s riveting new E-Novel , the international intrigue A Kiss By The Clowns!

 

Old Girls

I read in the International Herald Tribune recently that some Antiquities dealer passed away.

 

So he dealt in epochs? Eras? Ancient time periods?

 

OK, I’ll buy three! From his son!

 

I know, it isn’t entirely wrong, as the dictionary describes  Antiquity not only as a time slot pre-dating the Middle Ages, but also any object of quality preserved from these times.

 

Antiques, it seems to me though, is probably the more accurate definition of items referred to and dealt in, even though here we do come much closer to our own times, as recent say as the eighteenth century.

 

 Yes, I like Antiques Dealer a lot better than Antiquities Dealer, finding the former less pretentious, less vast, more intimate and recognizable, like someone dealing in dear mothers-in-law.

 

 

Anthony Steyning’s new novel A Kiss By The Clowns is now available as an EBook on www.kindle.com and http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/125336 for $2.99. It is a passionate story about life in a world of shining Oldsmobiles and bold-look ties when Marilyn Monroe was still kicking…

 

Macbeth in Libya, Syria

Listening to Government spokesmen of various Arab nations on TV is a riot. A tragi comedy, for their sense of reasoning is zero. Aristotle was not an Arab, and it is easy to see why. Their absurd way of putting arguments together and daring to face the international press corps with their psychotic dabble is truly insane and indicative of the way their countries are still or have been run.

Congenital lying, total denial, criminal intolerance and self-justification are wrapped in an arcane language far removed from reality. But then again, with leaders running the show of what can only be called organized existence, not life, imposed for decades on end happening to be reality to the poor suckers living under them, what can one expect?

Poor suckers brought up in such a way that they also speak, think and delude themselves to the point of accepting that all is as it should be. And the miracle that there exists an Arab Spring at all, with the help of other ‘truths’ finally reaching the Arab masses through modern electronic media. These the true early cause behind the demise of Stalinism, and now Islamo-fascism in so many places where legitimate recent opponents are regularly described as rats, traitors, vermin, foreign mercenaries, invaders, neo-colonialists, thieves, aggressors, to be eradicated together with towns in which they live, containing hundreds of thousands of innocent bystanders, but never as people with a different point of view.

Rather unconscionable Government Spokesmen then as mouthpieces of leaders having slipped into moral autism long, long ago, defended only by those relatively few doing well by them and in a language as incoherent and cruel as it is dumb.

Yet be patient, Macbeth, King Lear and Richard III were much the same leaders, and that was only 400 years ago.

But already speaking much, much better and ultimately making Scotland and England what these countries have become.

 

PS I wonder if there exists an Arabic word for Bullshit.

 

%d bloggers like this: