Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

FORE!

 

 

 

So this call girl I know with a slight speech defect, joined a Golf Club to pick up some business.

 

And she didn’t do badly!

 

The first time she played a round, she scored a couple of Bars and three Fogeys.

 

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FIX!

 

Soccer is a game whereby a team has 11 players trying to put the ball into the other’s net, and Germany must win.

 

Dialectic Materialism is the philosophical investigation into the process of the opposing forces of reality, whereby the Communist Party stays on top.

 

JOB SEARCH

 

– To successful Applicant: We offer you a position on the 12th floor, or on the ground floor: which will it be?!

 

 

– Looking at Interviewer: I think I opt for the below job!

 

 

ISIS = EBOLA

 

Speaks for itself

 

Name Game

Tiger Woods

 

Jeremy Irons

 

Peanut Putter

 

Rivalry

So Mrs Christie, if I’m not indiscreet, who goes on top?

Oh, that’s a weighty question. In all honesty I would have to admit… Hillary!

Hillary on top? Really…

Of course, that’s if Chris gets the nomination…

Coming from behind?

He’s done this all his life…

So he never pulled ahead?

I always bent over forward for him. Which helped…

How did Chris and Hillary meet?

During a debate!

One that didn’t take long…

I watched it, I knew the ending…

But did Hillary? Ending up on the short one again?

Not yet, but I could see it coming…

And you didn’t mind?

I stand behind my man, through thick and through thin…

But mainly thick?

They say, behind every successful man stands an incredulous woman. Not me!

Well, Mrs Christie, we hope for your sake, that he pulls it off.

I’d be on top…

Of the world?

Damn right! After years of carrying this load!

 

Conquest!

Look at the lion and his magnificent manes, his wives plain Janes and nothing to lose sleep over. Look at the male peacock and his fantastic crop, plumes and dancing feet, his lovers ugly as sin. Look at the buck and his enormous antlers, his amours only differentiated by the variety of white targets painted around their ass.  

 

Now look at humans and a different scenario. She doing all the action, forever dolled up, painted, rinsed, pedicured, manicured or worse. Seducing, wiggling, smiling, out to conquer mainly ugly ‘hims’ endowed with attitude and cash.

 

And then there’s me, no plumes, no manes, no antlers, no moolah.

 

Who am I going to get except if I’m lucky, a blind nymphomaniac who hopefully owns a liquor store?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new Enovel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

Sliding Home!

We knew there was something unusual about our new neighbours, when at ten o’clock at night one of them knocked on our door with an empty coffee cup in his hand, asking if we could spare some vaseline.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Bro, spare a Buck?

So I ran into this hooker on the corner of Hollywood & Vine, and asked her what her favorite TV program is.

 

Twat’s my Line! she said.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s terrific new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

Astronomy 1.01

The Kuiper belt is a region of the Solar System beyond the planets, extending from the orbit of Neptune to approximately 50 AU from the Sun. It is similar to the Asteroid belt, and not as dense or obtuse as the Bible belt.

 

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s terrific new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

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