Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

FORE!

 

 

 

So this call girl I know with a slight speech defect, joined a Golf Club to pick up some business.

 

And she didn’t do badly!

 

The first time she played a round, she scored a couple of Bars and three Fogeys.

 

Advertisements

FIX!

 

Soccer is a game whereby a team has 11 players trying to put the ball into the other’s net, and Germany must win.

 

Dialectic Materialism is the philosophical investigation into the process of the opposing forces of reality, whereby the Communist Party stays on top.

 

JOB SEARCH

 

– To successful Applicant: We offer you a position on the 12th floor, or on the ground floor: which will it be?!

 

 

– Looking at Interviewer: I think I opt for the below job!

 

 

Name Game

Tiger Woods

 

Jeremy Irons

 

Peanut Putter

 

Rivalry

So Mrs Christie, if I’m not indiscreet, who goes on top?

Oh, that’s a weighty question. In all honesty I would have to admit… Hillary!

Hillary on top? Really…

Of course, that’s if Chris gets the nomination…

Coming from behind?

He’s done this all his life…

So he never pulled ahead?

I always bent over forward for him. Which helped…

How did Chris and Hillary meet?

During a debate!

One that didn’t take long…

I watched it, I knew the ending…

But did Hillary? Ending up on the short one again?

Not yet, but I could see it coming…

And you didn’t mind?

I stand behind my man, through thick and through thin…

But mainly thick?

They say, behind every successful man stands an incredulous woman. Not me!

Well, Mrs Christie, we hope for your sake, that he pulls it off.

I’d be on top…

Of the world?

Damn right! After years of carrying this load!

 

Conquest!

Look at the lion and his magnificent manes, his wives plain Janes and nothing to lose sleep over. Look at the male peacock and his fantastic crop, plumes and dancing feet, his lovers ugly as sin. Look at the buck and his enormous antlers, his amours only differentiated by the variety of white targets painted around their ass.  

 

Now look at humans and a different scenario. She doing all the action, forever dolled up, painted, rinsed, pedicured, manicured or worse. Seducing, wiggling, smiling, out to conquer mainly ugly ‘hims’ endowed with attitude and cash.

 

And then there’s me, no plumes, no manes, no antlers, no moolah.

 

Who am I going to get except if I’m lucky, a blind nymphomaniac who hopefully owns a liquor store?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new Enovel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

Sliding Home!

We knew there was something unusual about our new neighbours, when at ten o’clock at night one of them knocked on our door with an empty coffee cup in his hand, asking if we could spare some vaseline.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Bro, spare a Buck?

So I ran into this hooker on the corner of Hollywood & Vine, and asked her what her favorite TV program is.

 

Twat’s my Line! she said.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s terrific new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

Quito Press Release

Ecuador offers Lance Armstrong Asylum at its London Embassy

 

President Correa said his country wants to protect the cyclist’s inalienable right to screw the US and International Establishment.

 

“Covering up screwing with a phony cause is what I do myself here every day!” declared the Bolivarian philosopher king to the Ecuadorian free press he closed down long ago.

 

“Isn’t it a wonderful world!?” the sleaze Julian Assange sighed, after reading the news in an official email.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Damascus Philantropy

There was a photograph of Mrs Assad taking her luxurious shoes off to whack a Badminton shuttle around during an event in support of the Syrian participants in the 2012 London Special Olympics.

 

I thought this was very touching, since her husband is in the business of killing Syrian civilians, in the process producing thousands of paraplegics.

 

Ah yes, those Arab Nanny States…..

 

Oh, and her hair looked beautiful!

 

Download the passionate Anthony Steyning E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

%d bloggers like this: