Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

OZ

So these two friends of Dorothy’s came across one Caitlyn Jenner, and one said to the other ” Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore!”

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FORE!

 

 

 

So this call girl I know with a slight speech defect, joined a Golf Club to pick up some business.

 

And she didn’t do badly!

 

The first time she played a round, she scored a couple of Bars and three Fogeys.

 

JOB SEARCH

 

– To successful Applicant: We offer you a position on the 12th floor, or on the ground floor: which will it be?!

 

 

– Looking at Interviewer: I think I opt for the below job!

 

 

Letter To My Son

 

Hi Kek,

 

Hey it’s your damn birthday soon again, will you slow down please,

you’re going much too fast to my taste?!

Anyway, son, you’re a terrific human being and I hope you’ll have a long

and happy life on this earth.

Unlike me, always in doubt, like when people ask me about my four footer

and I have to figure out if they’re referring to my dog, the putt I made on

hole 14, or my dick.

 

Love yah,

Dad

 

 

Rivalry

So Mrs Christie, if I’m not indiscreet, who goes on top?

Oh, that’s a weighty question. In all honesty I would have to admit… Hillary!

Hillary on top? Really…

Of course, that’s if Chris gets the nomination…

Coming from behind?

He’s done this all his life…

So he never pulled ahead?

I always bent over forward for him. Which helped…

How did Chris and Hillary meet?

During a debate!

One that didn’t take long…

I watched it, I knew the ending…

But did Hillary? Ending up on the short one again?

Not yet, but I could see it coming…

And you didn’t mind?

I stand behind my man, through thick and through thin…

But mainly thick?

They say, behind every successful man stands an incredulous woman. Not me!

Well, Mrs Christie, we hope for your sake, that he pulls it off.

I’d be on top…

Of the world?

Damn right! After years of carrying this load!

 

Kennedy

 

 

Camelot Came A Lot!

 

 

 

Conquest!

Look at the lion and his magnificent manes, his wives plain Janes and nothing to lose sleep over. Look at the male peacock and his fantastic crop, plumes and dancing feet, his lovers ugly as sin. Look at the buck and his enormous antlers, his amours only differentiated by the variety of white targets painted around their ass.  

 

Now look at humans and a different scenario. She doing all the action, forever dolled up, painted, rinsed, pedicured, manicured or worse. Seducing, wiggling, smiling, out to conquer mainly ugly ‘hims’ endowed with attitude and cash.

 

And then there’s me, no plumes, no manes, no antlers, no moolah.

 

Who am I going to get except if I’m lucky, a blind nymphomaniac who hopefully owns a liquor store?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new Enovel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

Pardon me, Ma’m

When I asked this woman for a jowblob, she slapped me in the face. But how was I to know both of us are dyslexic?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’sterrific E-novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Metamorphosis (II)

I think Angela Merkel going topless Ukrainian style in front of Vladimir Putin in order to protest gay rights abuses in Russia is a bit over the top, but it seems to have worked.

 

Putin had one look at her and now is as gay as a loon.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s loaded new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

Sliding Home!

We knew there was something unusual about our new neighbours, when at ten o’clock at night one of them knocked on our door with an empty coffee cup in his hand, asking if we could spare some vaseline.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

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