Archive for the ‘Crime’ Tag

God Save America

Me and my fellow murderers, psychopaths, hate mongers,

deranged fantasists and obscene attention seekers able to count

on self-fulfilling media coverage, wish to thank the NRA for their

unwavering support, allowing us to live our dreams and defend

ourselves against despicable monsters like fellow students, toddlers,

Catholics, Jews, Blacks, Latinos, or in general people with an accent,

or people who are brighter, work harder, have more success, and all

those others whose face we cannot stand.


Because the NRA understands that the gun is our brain, just like it is theirs,

especially the semi-automatic one. And that no regulation will stop us, for as

long as we can just borrow one, except when the oppressor cleverly bans

not the gun, but the bullet. In which case I guarantee you bullet trafficking will

outdo drug trafficking within months.


With the NRA’s unconditional support we have averaged the elimination of

30.000 enemies a year, over the past decade. But with help and devotion

there is no reason we cannot vastly improve on this number.


So God bless the morally corrupt and certifiably insane, because we have

what it takes.


Testimonial signed and agreed on between


Anthony Steyning & pals

Blatant Russian Logic


The defence of the young man who had killed both his parents argued

that he had become a poor orphan and so did not need to be punished,

but protected and consoled.


Mr Putin in defence of Mr Assad, who killed a quarter of a million men,

women and children and made refugees out of ten times as many, argues

that the only one who can stop the killing is poor Mr Assad, who does not

need to be punished but instead is in need of urgent assistance and care.









For a new police/detective CSI type action show, we seek talent that


-Must look 22 yrs old and not break up laughing when addressed as Doctor or Chief Pathologist


-Must have hair remaining in place come rain, shine, crashed, shot, burned, bombed, near drowned or whatever


-Must have characterless, photogenic facial features with the emotional depth of a frying pan


– No acting technique required, with the body language of a lumberjack, and please don’t stammer: Stanislavski was a Methodist


-Be able to state the understood over and over again, explaining the obvious to a counterpart who plays the apparently stupid expert


-Submit your résumé, including photograph and contact details if you think you have what it doesn’t take.


-Auditions are planned for early June.


-Remember our mission statement: The dumber the better: Good Luck



Millions Over

Despite misguided police actions caused by the loss of hundreds of their own, Nobody shoots and kills Blacks, like Blacks do.

Particularly in Central Africa.

Despite drones, Nobody kills Muslims, like Muslims do.

Especially in Syria and what Sunnis can when it comes to Shia’s, plus those wonderful Taliban. Hundreds of thousands, more than a guess.

Despite Western economic threats and erstwhile German insanity, Nobody kills Russians, like Russians did and still do, in gulags, through deliberate famines, in orphanages and through show trials. Like ‘father’ Stalin’s millions, without blinking an eye.

Funny how those who kill and ‘avenge’ constantly evoke an outside enemy, but will not first recognize and deal with the pure evil in the hearts of their own.

Monty Python Redux


Whereupon these Taliban, Al Qaeda and Isis fun guys were having a party

and spontaneously sang and whistled:



Things will turn out for the best

Always look on the bright side of…. death






Yes, always look on the bright side of…. death








And their audience just died!




Here in Europe a guy with long hair and a beard, a cross between Jesus Christ

 and Rita Hayworth, attired in a dated, gold plaque long dress, won the festival

of songs of bad taste.

His name Conchita, to no one’s surprise, Conchita Sausage to be exact, or Wurst

in his native tongue. The background noise, Schubert, Mozart, Mahler and Strauss

 rolling in their graves. Because no orchestra is ever shown on the ‘live’ TV broadcast

of this yearly event, and so we must conclude that what passes for actual music

of whatever dubious quality is mostly electronic gimmickry and the voice of

 Rita Conchita in fact lip-synched.

But what the hell, the great nation of Austria is ‘proud’, and that is wonderful. Not to

 speak of Father and Mother Sausage and all the other bearded little knack-wursts.

The Great Kalashnikov

Rampant life, kills life. The food chain cleans up and controls the numbers.

Humans escaped the food chain by the evolution of their wits and have only viruses, and related or unrelated diseases to deal with.

Plus car, train and plane accidents, and the Assad and Himmler method of population control, of course.

Flying low

The saddest of all ironies is that we can teach a 12th century primitive to pilot a Boeing 787, but not for him not to execute his sister after she walks home alone.



Murder She Wrote

There’s every chance

a body

buried illicitly,

meeting its end

less than fortuitously,


the kind of justice

it once dished out


If not,

there soon to be

second loss:

impunity’s own demise


crime’s hidden author

death’s infinitely

more Just toss

Victims Betray Victims

Revenge that most primitive and thus strongest of all sentiments. Far stronger than love, tolerance, understanding, generosity, charity and sadly more recidivist than all of these put together.

Abused children, justifiably angry, very angry, much later taking it out on their own children by being…abusive. Showing them what it was like, time and again, instead of protecting them. Some even becoming child killers, dehumanizing their victims first by refusing to see them as a child, and secondly by attempting to get back at society as a whole, all these original perpetrators and those who let them get away with it, looking the other way, refusing to see the danger, to feel the pain, to hear those menacing footsteps in the night, cruelty begetting more cruelty, not the intolerance of it, the strong resentment of it, the disgusted, instinctive dismissal of it, having been exposed to its catastrophic, obsession creating effect.

The Jewish film director, losing his mother to the murderous keepers of Auschwitz, and then his pregnant wife to a band of raping lunatics, but a short while later drugging and raping a thirteen year old child as if he didn’t know what pain was, inflicting it with a sadistic, perverse vengeance on a girl who was not part of that other sorrow.

But also tribal, family or neighborhood revenge for honour lost, honour real but mostly honour imagined. Like the Head of Obstetrics, guardian of the miracle of life and well-being, from a country that will go unnamed, succeeding in America after receiving his doctorate there and planning the murder of his own daughter after she fell in love with an American boy and putting her father to apparent shame, in the eyes of those in his former country no doubt. Because, you see, she hadn’t obeyed him, which was shameful, even 10.000 miles and 2 decades removed, authority and status everything in places where killing always seems to be the lesser evil.

Or what the Klan’s fear represented, feeling threatened by a group of outcasts, quite powerless and innocent, attacking it in the night, stringing up its members like strange fruit, if it could, taking back its pound of flesh exactly for which slight? Revenge and punishment irrational then, but worse, so often abstract and imaginary, and still followed by visceral, reprehensible acts.

So let us re-define shame, not bogus shame, and let us re-define pain and let us define innocence, or who and what is another and who or what is us. And then take all this human primitiveness away, for worse not better than animals we still remain! Or not?

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