Winds of Fate

When I was younger I convinced my children that each time her dog barked represented a signal their grandmother had just farted.

 

Of course when we visited and sat in her garden, people would pass by and her dog would grunt sotto voce, then jump up and bark without fail.

 

Whereupon the kids would look at me in a conspiring sort of way and I rolled my eyes, nodding away.

 

Then they would look at a lady who to this day doesn’t understand why every time her dog barked they howled with laughter, run as far as they could.

 

Poor thing!

 

 It wasn’t anything that she ate.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s powerful new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

Haiti

A self-deprecating Haitian friend of mine came to Canada, because he contrasts so well with the snow.

 

It’s the first time in my life, he told me, that people take note of me.

 

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Cuba

Some Brit wrote that arriving at José Marti airport in Havana, forced to share a sixty year old taxi to one’s hotel, what’s immediately obvious is the odour of pussy and petrol.

 

This is a very genteel way of putting it, but not my impression.

 

It’s more like cunt, rum and coconuts!

 

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God Bless Oz?

In that dark and ochre sky

from her enormous buttocks

and dirty little thong,

a brutal wind

rips into

cardboard dwellings

and despairing trees,

leading to expected express death!

And with it the thought

The land is blessed

by a woeful God

using

builders ,

hands folded, pious,

good for hammers,

but not apparently armed concrete!

Download Anthony Steyning’s poetic E-Novel: A Kiss By the Clowns

 

Inconsistencies (II)

– Genetically manipulated food protesters thinking nothing of eating pitless grapes

– Free range chickens laying stamped, date-marked eggs as if they had a minuscule printer up their ass

– Green party legislators going to work in their BMWs, warped of perception but straight of face

Download Anthony  Steyning’s E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

Polaroids

Poor Hottentots or the Austral Aborigines were sometimes brought back to London and Paris in the 17th and 18th centuries by disgusting colonists as part of pseudo-anthropological studies, but in reality representing nothing but stupid circus acts.

The same with the Inuit French settlers in Quebec managed to bring back to France, and who were paraded before French society as curiosity objects.

“ Est-ce qu’il mort?” the real primitives would ask. (Does he bite?)

From which ostensibly the word Eskimo evolved.

The answer to which is No! And neither does he eat yellow snow! 

You Morons!

 

 

Anthony Steyning’s new novel A Kiss By The Clowns is now available as an EBook on www.kindle.com and http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/125336 for $2.99. It is a passionate story about life in a world of shining Oldsmobiles and bold-look ties when Marilyn Monroe was still kicking…

Winding Roads!

After Morocco gained its independence in 1956, first from France and a month later from Spain, with the exception of the enclaves of Ceuta and Melilla, King Mohammed V also cut down the long, long permissive party Tangiers had been, just like Castro cleaned up Havana after he came to miserably rule Cuba, a few years later.

It always surprised me what moral prudes crooks and executioners are, Murder ? No Problem! Sex? Get Out Of here!  Anyway, no more night clubs, no more opium, no more prostitutes and alcohol, no more cute little Arab boys for rich Western homosexuals like Orton, Bowles, Capote, Tennessee Williams and Cocteau.

For when Bowles kicked some sand with his big toe at the outskirts of Tangiers, wiring his parents that he had moved the Sahara, he omitted to mention he also moved other ‘things’, with a different digit of his and that the Sphinx at Giza across that desert, held nothing over local sphincters as long as one kept the sand away from the Vaseline.

The years these golden Sodomites felt tempted to move back to the European continent, to a pretty fishing village across the strait called Marbella. Eventually turning it into a world-class hangout for the ridiculously bored and the over-sexed, a place stricter, because still under Franco, with fewer intrigues or left over Nazis, but also much safer and where Jean Cocteau, the French playwright/ cineaste and eternal Nobel Hopeful opened up a tea room right next to Prince Hohenlohe’s new Marbella Club beach hotel, called the Golden Camel, a hangout for the rich empty-headed as well as for his gifted, gay pals.

So you see, if you write, don’t open a tea room: You’ll never make it to Stockholm.

 

Anthony Steyning’s new novel A Kiss By The Clowns is now available as an EBook on www.kindle.com and http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/125336 for $2.99. It is a passionate story about life in a world of shining Oldsmobiles and bold-look ties when Marilyn Monroe was still kicking…

 

Bi-Polar Bear Disappearing

They said my white-furred, ursine friend Toby was spotted in Antarctica recently.

 

But it turned out this was false, as he was sitting right next to me ordering a seal, at an outdoor café in northern Kangiqsualujjuaq , Nunavik, Canada.

 

It was -40º

 

Dear Toby is definitely not bi-polar.

 

 

Ah, Sweet Science

NASA confirms that the mean temperature of the earth hasn’t changed one iota.

That there are climate shifts however is indisputable: Snow storms in New Jersey, in October!?

Furthermore, the Canadian Government confirming that polar warming is a fact, with the habitat of the polar bear shrinking, encroached upon by human society, which causes a dramatic reduction in their number.

On the other hand it is difficult to get a hard-on at -40º, so that the Canadian official prediction is that the territorial issue affecting the polar bear’s normal natural breeding rate, will soon move up again. This because the rise in temperature will equally dramatically and proportionately, increase the number of ursine erections.

It’s indispensable for you to know and understand this.