FORE!

 

 

 

So this call girl I know with a slight speech defect, joined a Golf Club to pick up some business.

 

And she didn’t do badly!

 

The first time she played a round, she scored a couple of Bars and three Fogeys.

 

Brain Disease

 

It’s a modern affliction. When the cerebellum protrudes from the asshole and thinks of itself as beautiful. Identical to shamelessness, apparently there’s no cure but others walking away from it.

Conquest!

Look at the lion and his magnificent manes, his wives plain Janes and nothing to lose sleep over. Look at the male peacock and his fantastic crop, plumes and dancing feet, his lovers ugly as sin. Look at the buck and his enormous antlers, his amours only differentiated by the variety of white targets painted around their ass.  

 

Now look at humans and a different scenario. She doing all the action, forever dolled up, painted, rinsed, pedicured, manicured or worse. Seducing, wiggling, smiling, out to conquer mainly ugly ‘hims’ endowed with attitude and cash.

 

And then there’s me, no plumes, no manes, no antlers, no moolah.

 

Who am I going to get except if I’m lucky, a blind nymphomaniac who hopefully owns a liquor store?

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s epic new Enovel: A Kiss by the Clowns

 

 

HEAT

In an another doomsday analysis that I saw on TV some British scientist explained how the ozone layer protects us from the sun and helps regulate temperatures on earth, making organic life sustainable. But that too much carbon dioxide eats away at this protection, reducing oxygen, affecting childbirth and unbearably warming up the globe.

He then went on to show how this warming will melt the permafrost in Siberia, thawing out the underlying plant life which starts to rot, in the process producing methane gas. Millions of tons of it. And methane 23x times more potent than carbon dioxide, capable of pretty well ending life on earth according to this happy researcher.

I don’t know, I’m from Canada, is there anything wrong with our permafrost and are all these climate keys only found in Siberia? And certainly, frozen wastelands cover large parts of all far northern areas. They seem infertile, inhospitable, barren, forsaken, but doesn’t it surprise the good man that there is frozen plant life beneath the tons of snow and ice? Wouldn’t that tell the chap that many thousands of years ago the place warm enough to have normal vegetation? And that there are cycles at work in the universe that are still not understood, not by him, not by anyone? That we’re still here, that less than 20.000 years ago the Sahara was a lush, moist and green place? Well before Chinese smelters, Japanese cars and Westinghouse refrigerators?

I say clean up the mess, it bothers me, the aesthetics of it alone making me sick, but stop the extrapolations, the hyperboles, the alarmism of it all. Besides, we have nothing to worry about, isn’t the Lord protecting us?

Dry Martini

The Sahara was formed during a long stretch between 3000 and 6000 years ago, having had absolutely nothing to do with human behaviour, activity, punishment or salvation. In fact a brilliant new scientific study has revealed that what apparently changed a lush, sub-tropical landscape into a desert, was lack of rain. In the same region there were also fish fossils found, on mountain tops! So that which once wet now dry and down up, but tomorrow likely Sierra again. The planet constantly on the move I do worry and we must clean up, but let’s first have a drink and cease to be hysterical!

Climate

The Hari Krishna gang came by the other day, beating their drums, their tambourines and singing their mantras or incantations in their orange robes on the pavements of the city. But I noticed earlier that when the temperature drops below zero, they disappear pretty swiftly. I also seem to recall the Virgin Mary has never made an appearance in Alaska, only near the balmy Mediterranean. Hence my theory that religious fervor and revelation depends on the temperature. That it is allergic to cold or else much like those UFOs, never sighted in the Congo, always near areas of certain sophistication where there’s more nourishment for imagination. Wouldn’t it give food for thought though, if, miraculously, the Virgin were sighted in Mecca? Or Mohammed’s mother in Spitsbergen? And what if those two venerable ladies would then get together and have a cup of tea?