Archive for the ‘Press’ Category

God Save America

Me and my fellow murderers, psychopaths, hate mongers,

deranged fantasists and obscene attention seekers able to count

on self-fulfilling media coverage, wish to thank the NRA for their

unwavering support, allowing us to live our dreams and defend

ourselves against despicable monsters like fellow students, toddlers,

Catholics, Jews, Blacks, Latinos, or in general people with an accent,

or people who are brighter, work harder, have more success, and all

those others whose face we cannot stand.

 

Because the NRA understands that the gun is our brain, just like it is theirs,

especially the semi-automatic one. And that no regulation will stop us, for as

long as we can just borrow one, except when the oppressor cleverly bans

not the gun, but the bullet. In which case I guarantee you bullet trafficking will

outdo drug trafficking within months.

 

With the NRA’s unconditional support we have averaged the elimination of

30.000 enemies a year, over the past decade. But with help and devotion

there is no reason we cannot vastly improve on this number.

 

So God bless the morally corrupt and certifiably insane, because we have

what it takes.

 

Testimonial signed and agreed on between

 

Anthony Steyning & pals

Advertisements

All in a Name

 

I didn’t know, but this CNN guy Richard Quest has a twin brother.

So I said to him, Richard, we don’t see your brother Onry much!?

And he said, you have to ask for him….

 

Brain Disease

Kim Kardashian's Unbelievable Butt Explained: Just Oil and Great ...

 

It’s a modern affliction. When the cerebellum protrudes from the asshole and thinks of itself as beautiful. Identical to shamelessness, apparently there’s no cure but others walking away from it.

Lose Badly And Ye Shall Win!

 

The Palestinians complain that unless they attack, nothing happens for years,

nobody paying attention to them, and a sort of condescending and highly patronising,

Israeli occupying de facto colonialism sets in, for maybe 50 years or more.

 

 

And they are right. This seems to suit among others the Likud party, just fine.

 

 

So the Palestinians will attack and attack, even though they haven’t a hope in hell to

defeat an Israel screaming bloody murder, and never failing to grossly over-react.

To wit, 2000 Gaza civilian deaths and total obliteration of its structures over what

started as the idiotic, cruel murder of 3 of its teenagers by rogue Palestinian nationalists.

The added rockets also seem to do little, except to help Israel cry wolf.

 

All of which is provoking worldwide condemnation of Israel, and may lead to painful

 isolation, and, believe it or not ultimately drive it towards a meaningful, not cosmetic,

peace effort leading to a free Palestinian State.

 

So don’t expect today’s fires to dwindle any time soon. And let’s see who the really smart ones are.

Little Caesar

 

Russian Vladimir Putin is an unremarkable man, who has been given remarkable powers.

 

 

He chose Dmitry Medvedev as his predecessor because he is harmless and stands even shorter than him.

 

 

And so he would never get photographed looking up at him.

 

 

Ah, yes,  of power and complexes…

 

 

Rivalry

So Mrs Christie, if I’m not indiscreet, who goes on top?

Oh, that’s a weighty question. In all honesty I would have to admit… Hillary!

Hillary on top? Really…

Of course, that’s if Chris gets the nomination…

Coming from behind?

He’s done this all his life…

So he never pulled ahead?

I always bent over forward for him. Which helped…

How did Chris and Hillary meet?

During a debate!

One that didn’t take long…

I watched it, I knew the ending…

But did Hillary? Ending up on the short one again?

Not yet, but I could see it coming…

And you didn’t mind?

I stand behind my man, through thick and through thin…

But mainly thick?

They say, behind every successful man stands an incredulous woman. Not me!

Well, Mrs Christie, we hope for your sake, that he pulls it off.

I’d be on top…

Of the world?

Damn right! After years of carrying this load!

 

A Fitting Question

 

If Chris Christie should make it to lead the USA, will he become known as the oval president?

 

A snug fit for his office?

 

 

Gesundheit!

I think this bird flu threat is wildly exaggerated. I never once heard a chicken sneeze or cough.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s passionate E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

A Piece of the Peace

The Norwegian branch of the Nobel Foundation has already announced the winner of the 2013 Peace Prize and it is AMTRAK for contributing to world peace by delivering so many people to so many sleepy holes in the wall.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s new E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

BREAKING NEWS

LUTHER IS AN ASSHOLE

 

The Calvinist Newspaper carrying this headline got bombed, Lutherans rioting and attacking anything remotely Calvinist all over Europe.

 

” THEY INSULTED LUTHER ” a Lutheran with blood all over his hands shouted defiantly, on his way to the American Embassy.

 

” THIS IS GOOD NEWS!” the Pope exhorted.

 

Personally I pray God buggers off.

 

Download Anthony Steyning’s recent E-Novel: A Kiss by the Clowns

%d bloggers like this: